Wait, USA

     I think I might be going crazy. I'm starting a blog. I can't keep a journal for more than a day or two. The thought of having details of my private life out for the public eye scares me to death, even if I have the power to edit and delete. I don't have any time, energy, or gray matter to donate to anything extracurricular. So why am I doing this? That's a good question.
     Simplest answer, I need a hobby. One that takes all the strange creative desire from my mind and focuses it on one goal. I'm a strange person. Even when I'm tired and I've worked all day, my mind still can't be quiet. It needs to do something 'pretty'. I used to refinish furniture - how's that for a feminine pastime? But that got messy, and took up a lot of space. I could go play piano, but in a house full of people and activity, that's not always possible. Sometimes all that accomplishes is adding to the noise you know? So when it came down to either interpretive dancing to Yanni or making a blog, here I am.
     More in depth: I'm in the middle of a giant life crossroads. I'm somewhere between school and real life; between jobs; that strange land between single and not; between the person who I thought I was, the person who I want to be, and the person I'm becoming. My problem is...someone's erased all the directions on the signpost. So until someone comes along and guides me out of this frustrating place, I'm here to endure. Proverbs 16:9. I have made up my heart and my mind, but God says 'Wait'.
     Wait is not a place I like to be.

     Wait is a gray and foggy place. There's a rock to sit on, the blank signpost, and a whole lot of wrong directions. The Devil lives right on the outskirts of Wait, and he tries to get you to leave before it's time for you to go. Patience has never been my strong suit when it comes to life, and he sure plays on that a lot. But I am being taught my lesson. Example: the Peppers job. I got a shiny new job at Peppers and thought I had it made. Well I stayed their employee for the duration of orientation, all three hours, after which it became clear to me that I had jumped the gun and tried to blaze a new trail out of Wait before God told me which way to go. On that little trail, I met the Devil and boy I knew it. Luckily, I recognized my error before I had gotten too far, and God was gracious enough to let me back into Wait, instead of sending me on to somewhere harder.
    
What Wait has taught me so far:
     Eve gets a bad rap, because if the Devil was half as convincing with the apple as he is with what he tries on me, I might have slipped up back then too.
     The Alyssa of five years ago, and a year ago, and six months ago who just knew she had life figured out...I'm glad I didn't end up where she was going.
     College is the biggest lie in high school. Why do we try to make 16 and 17 year olds plan their futures? God doesn't automatically show you your major/job/life plan just because you're in college. 80% of kids would do better just working for a few years until God says 'this is what I want you to do'. I was one of those kids.
     If God puts you into a room and you haven't found a window or door yet, I bet you've missed the magazine he gave you to read in the meantime.
     Sometimes when God does provide you with a window, you're just meant to enjoy the view, not jump out and start running.
     Love is the most cheapened emotion of our society.
     I miss elementary school when relationships were easy. Check yes, then you play at recess together.
     The warmest feeling in the world is being called something special by someone special.