Growing Up and Moving On

     This is my last spring break ever...from a student perspective anyway. I'm more excited about this than I should be, and more apprehensive. As much as some of my friends want to be in college forever (some will be I think, haha) and as much as some of them still want too be footloose and fancy-free, I've always been ready to grow up and be an adult. Like this once when I was little, my Papa was kissing me goodbye and being silly, kissing me from my hand all the way up my arm. I looked at him and said, "Behave Papa!" Haha that's what my parents got for never treating me like a baby.
     As long as I can remember, I've always been ready to move on to the next step in life. I'm definitely a planner, and kind of an OCD one at that. I'm always researching my next step, or the next five steps rather. But, like most kids my age, I've spent the last ten years of my life preparing for and being in college. Now that the end is nigh, I really am kind of lost looking for what to do next.
     Sure, I have a ton of options. I am somewhat of a modern day 'Renaissance-woman'; that is, I have a ton of skills, but I'm just not sure any of them are what I'm supposed to be doing. God still has me 'Waiting' for that answer. Dad sent me a cool link about looking for a 'calling' as opposed to a 'job' (here), but I think I'm still kind of looking for both.
     This is what I'm sure of: I don't want to go back to school, at least not for a good while. I have had such a sore experience altogether, I'm about as burned out as you can be. Once I get that degree in June, I'm moving on to something else.
     I'm someone who needs to be busy. Sitting at home isn't fun for me. When I'm stressed, I want to go do something and work out my tension, not take a vacation or relax. The more free time I have, the more I obsess over and think about the problems I need to leave to God. If I sit at home much longer, I'm going to need several new hobbies. I have a dobro I'm about to learn to play, but I need something more mentally time consuming :) Maybe I'll start quilting or something...
  

    I've started paperwork to be a short term missionary with Global Outreach this fall. I love doing mission work, and I've always been mildly envious of my friends who got to go off for summer missions during college. I thought about doing one of those, but it never was the right time or place in my life or God's plan. Now is perfect though: I won't have school or a job to work around, I'm old enough and responsible enough to go and do pretty much anything they need, and I'm fully ready to be useful to someone, someway.
     I don't have a particular place I want to go or a particular job I want to do. I'm leaning towards something in Central or South America because of my Spanish and my familiarity with the people and cultures, but Europe interests me too. I put down for my skills: youth/children work and teaching; music; office, cleaning and organizing work; and first aid/medical work, so that pretty much leaves my options open to anything short of construction and digging ditches. I just want to go be useful somewhere that needs me and my talents especially, and I'm sure Global and God have just that place.
     I finish school in June, and have a short mission trip planned already for July, so I'm planning to tell them I'll be ready to leave in August. That gives me plenty of time to settle my school stuff and enjoy summer with my sister before she starts school, and August is when most of the summer missions people leave the field and come home. I plan to stay until Christmas, around four months total.
     Don't get me wrong - this isn't set in stone yet. Everything depends on God and his plan; I'm just putting the steps in motion so I'll be as prepared as possible.
    
     I have a few prayer requests for yall:
-Pray that Global comes back to me with a position so perfect, I know it was designed by God. I'm definitely leaving the choosing up to Him, so that I won't pick something wrong for me and for Him.
-Pray that what nervousness I have about his goes away. This is a big step for me, four months a long long way from home, doing Lord only knows what. The devil knows this, and I keep picturing myself being stuck in a hut with a family who speaks no English...and other such nonsense.