I think its partly my curse and my blessing, but my life can never stay dull and event-less for long. As usual, big changes are once again coming up for me, but this time they were brought about by my choices instead of things outside of my control. For me, that's a major move forward. This time, I'm ready to go along to whatever comes next.
First and foremost, I turned my notice in at work last week. I know, I know, everyone out there is gasping and going, "No! You love your job!" but it was a decision I made with a calm mind, lots of prayer and thinking over my choice, and with my family totally in support of me.
This time around, I'm looking for something close to home - right now I drive 50 miles each way to work; something that pays well and offers benefits - I know benefits are going to be necessary in a couple of years when I'm too old to ride on my parents' insurance anymore, and I really want to start saving for a place of my own; and something I feel like I can do for a good long while, even if I still don't have the 'what I want to be when I grow up' thing set in stone. With me still being at a place in my life where I can actually take the time to look for a good job instead of having to take the first thing that comes, I know this is a good opportunity for me to look towards the future. Both my bosses were really great about me turning in my notice, and my last day with them will be next Saturday.
In other news, Monday was a big day in a different area of my life. I got the last nerve block to finish out my current series of blocks for my migraines. I described them in a post waaay back
here when I started them in April. This series is for the right side of my head; the left side will come in a month or two if I choose to go through the whole deal again...still debating.
Definitely not what I expected...the last nerve blocks in a series are always the worst. This is because the first ones are 'temporary' blocks, meant to make sure they're targeting the right nerves and that the blocks are working like you need them to. The final one is called an RF block, for Radio Frequency. They hit the nerve with a burst of that radio frequency, as opposed to just coating it with an anesthetic like the temporary blocks, and that literally kills the problem nerve for good. The procedure is the same as the temporary ones, except for the recovery time. The nerve takes about two weeks to fully die. After that you don't need any more nerve blocks, and you should be pain free in that spot for around a year. For me, that means the nerve that gives me migraines will hurt for about two weeks sort of like I'm having a migraine, then I shouldn't have any more for a good long time.
An RF block, my friends, was honestly the worst pain I could ever imagine, and I hope I never feel anything like that again. I know my doctor is one of the best in the entire South for these so I wasn't worried about that part, but I also knew it was supposed to hurt worse and I really wasn't prepared for how much more. I wasn't sedated as heavily for this block as I usually am, since they like you to be able to tell them if they're touching the right nerve. When that nerve is in your head, and the needle sticking in your face is several inches long, and you're hurting so bad you can't think straight...wow. I've had multiple kidney stones, broken over 20 bones, and had migraines for over a decade, and this was 100 times worse than all of that. I've never cried so hard I had trouble breathing. My doctor actually had to stop in the middle of my procedure so I could calm down, and he almost didn't finish. Brain exploding, white-hot, can't think straight, searing, Lord kill me now pain. That's as close as I can get to describing it.
I cried throughout my whole block and all the way to recovery. I quit when I got to recovery because I was so glad to get the ice pack they always give me to put on my face, and I didn't want icy tears and snot everywhere. The nurses in recovery had to help me wipe my smeary makeup off my face before I left because I had cried all my eye makeup off and apparently I looked rough! I also left with a major chipmunk face on one side, my doctor even laughed and apologized for giving me such a fat face this time.
Five days later, my face finally isn't swollen anymore. I can definitely feel that nerve dying off, but it's not as bad as my migraines, and if this is the last time I'll feel it for a good long while I think I can live through it.
So, big things coming to an end. Not a bad thing, for sure. I'm kind of ready to see what's up next for me...knowing my life, it's guaranteed not to be anything boring! Keep reading, and you'll find out along with me.
