This isn't really a rant post, but it's just my opinion on the sad, sad state of things in the world of teenage dating. I'm friends on Facebook with a lot of the youth from my church, my sister's friends, kids from my old high school. Some closer to being adults, but some as young as 13 or 14.
Every day it seems I see someone that age having relationship drama. One day I'll see a post where a girl says 'Everything is just going perfect, I think he's the one, I can't believe it's only been three weeks and I already love him so much.' or something to that effect, and just a few days later the same girl is in severe depression because said boy turned out not to be Prince Charming. And it's not just girls, the guys are just as bad.
This is a topic I have a lot of strong feelings about. I'm really, really old fashioned when it comes to dating, even at my age when most of my friends are either married, engaged, or in a long relationship. And it makes me really sad to see all these girls and guys who are just running this horrible dating cycle, simply because they think they need a boyfriend or girlfriend to make them complete
First off, I don't think kids should be dating at the age of 13 or 14. My parents imposed that restriction on me, and I don't remember having a problem with it. Heck, until I was 16 or so, I didn't even think about dating! I might have though a guy was cute or something, but I had no interest in going out with anyone. I mean, seriously, what can a 14 year old do on a date? Kids that age are just that, kids. They are nowhere close to mature enough to be dating.
Second, these kids are so much in a hurry with dating. They jump right into a relationship without bothering to get to know the other person first, then they try to see if it'll work. Then two or three weeks later, they're in 'love'. A few weeks after that, they've broken up and hate each other. I think that's partly a maturity issue, but also a rushing it issue. If I'm going to date someone, even at my age where it's the social norm to just casually date around, I want to just be friends first. I hate the custom of 'casual dating' and I don't do it, on principle. I think whoever you date, marry, whatever, needs to be your best friend before they're anything more than that. I think you need to find out what you have in common, what you don't, what your respective families are like, all that jazz, before you jump into anything more romantic. And I love that part of a relationship! Getting to know someone that could potentially be the one you spend the rest of your life with? Yeah, it's a big deal! And you need to enjoy it!
And once you've passed the friend stage, and have finally entered the real relationship, there's still no reason to push the gas. If this person is the 'one', then you two have all the time in the world, right? No reason you should be making out after the first date. I personally think a kiss is something very intimate and special, and I don't just give out kisses like kleenexes.I'm not going to commit myself emotionally in that way unless I know that I'm in a relationship with someone I know I like a lot, and want to continue growing the relationship. It just seems so much more valued and sweet to me to save that for someone really special to you. It's totally fine if you disagree with me. I know I'm old fashioned, and that's okay for me.
The 'love' word is the worst of all. I see these kids on Facebook, Twitter, wherever, throwing it around like it's a football on Friday night. 'I just love him', 'I love her so much', after dating only a month? I'm sorry. There's a very slim chance you can know that you love someone in just a month of dating, especially at the ripe old age of 16. Love is just about the most serious, deep feeling and committment you have to make. It gets confused a lot with enfatuation, lust, physical attraction, and a number of other emotions that pale in comparison to real, true, lasting love.
I heard somewhere that dating around, and falling in 'love' so much before you meet the real person God has for you is like having a whole heart, and every time you date and break up with someone they tear away a little piece to keep. When you date, you give so much of yourself to that other person, it's hard to get it all back. There's always going to be reminders of that person for you, a song on the radio, a favorite restaurant, an old tshirt, so you never truly get rid of them. By the time you get to the one you were meant for, you only have a little, broken piece of heart that's left over for him, instead of the whole, pure heart that he or she deserves. It's true, dating isn't a bad thing, but it is something we should treat respectfully and a little cautiously. After all, our heart is a very breakable thing.
I'm the first to admit being single isn't always fun. I don't like spending my weekend nights at home with my parents watching the DVR any more than anyone else does. I like being taken out to movies and dinner and going on long walks together. I miss having someone to talk to when I'm having a bad day, or when I have a long drive, or when I just feel like I want some company. I love having someone to cook for, buy presents for, cuddle on the couch and watch movies with. I've always been a loving person, and having an other half somehow makes it to where I just have more and more love to give. I love that feeling. Plus, the whole hugging and kissing part ain't half bad either :)
But...I'm don't want all that enough to make the mistake of filling the role of Mr. Right with someone who completely isn't. I'm such a different person from anyone I know, so I know that finding the right guy is going to take a good deal of time and patience. I'd much rather wait for the right man to come and sweep me off my feet than to go around in a a blind attempt to date everyone I can find in hopes that one of those guys just might turn out to be him. I wish I could convince all these young girls that, before they go and get their heart broken so many times that they feel like there is no such thing as Mr. Right anymore. As fun as a lonely heart isn't, it's nowhere close to as painful as trying to put one back together.
Love never fails.
