Fifi

     Ashley Grant, you wriing that post about Mr. Junior got me all stirred up in my head. I sat here remembering all the people I've got to look forward to meeting again in heaven, like my greatgrandparents, and my Granny, and Tiffany. This March 4th would have been my aunt Tiffany's birthday. Sometimes it doesn't seem like she's been gone all these years, but then again it always seems like she's been gone too too long. If you never got to meet her, you missed out meeting one of the most amazing people God's ever made.
     Tiff died six years ago, from ovarian cancer. She had been fighting for years, back and forth between amazing times and pretty bad ones. But I don't think I ever saw her defeated, or depressed, or discouraged, or anything less than hopeful for God to do something great. She even tried to keep all of us laughing, in spite of the battle she was fighting. If I could have just a spoonful of her faith, I'd be an infinitely better woman.
     Me and Fifi were so close. That was my special name for her, Fifi. Maybe because I was the first baby to come along, and the only one for years; maybe because we spent so much time together as I grew up. She was just like another mother, except she'd let me do stuff Mama never would and she'd tell off on stuff Mama and her used to do as kids. She taught me my first real song - Chattahoochie by Alan Jackson -and I think I wore out three tapes singing it with her. She loved playing with my hair, even when I was a teenager. Sorry Caleb, you never could quite fit the bill on that one haha. She'd spend hours playing with me, whatever game I came up with, just having a ball together. I loved going up to Family Time Video when she used to work there. That was the coolest place on earth to me.
As I got older, she'd take me to her house and let me just hang out with her, not just like aunt and niece but like girlfriends. She taught me how to drive when I was thirteen, without Mama and Daddy knowing it, driving down Hurricane bottom in her little red Grand Prix. She helped me through those awful middle school growing up years, through bad hair styles, through shopping woes, even eating the caramel part of the Snickers bars when I had braces so I could still get the taste. We'd act purely retarded together in public, and drive Mama and Grandmama crazy. She even helped me go out for the only beauty pageant I ever did, and even though I didn't win she still made me feel as beautiful as if I'd won a crown. I have no doubt if she'd lived into my older high school and college years, we'd have spent way more money than necessary on clothes and makeup, talking about boyfriends and college, and if she were here today, I'd spend a lot of time asking her for advice on where to turn when life goes crazy.
     I remember just before she died, her sitting down with me and us planning out my wedding, as much as a fifteen year old girl can dream about. She knew she wouldn't make it until then, but she was determined to be as much of a part as she could. We talked about everything, the dress, the flowers, the ceremony, anything that could be imagined. I didn't like cake back then (crazy huh?) so we even planned for me to have a cookie tower wedding cake. I'm still doing that, even though I make wedding cakes for a living, and I'm dedicating it to her. She even gave me a set of jewelry to wear. I had always loved this jewelry of hers, always begged to wear it, and now it's in my room in a box with all the other jewelry of hers I have and the notes she wrote me, waiting on that special day. I hope when it gets here God lets her have a one day pass, just to come watch.
     When she died, I didn't think I'd ever be able to stop crying again. I cried for days, and still as I write this I'm crying. If you know me any at all, you know how rare that it. I never cry, never get emotional. But losing Fifi hit me hard for a long long time. I did get in a laugh the week I went back to school though. I sat at lunch every day with the same kids; Ashley McGee, you were one of them. One of the more airheaded ones just hadn't been paying attention I guess, and he asks me, trying to be nice, 'So how's your aunt?' Before I can even get upset, I see Ashley beating the snot out of this poor boy yelling 'You IDIOT! She DIED! Didn't you know she's been out all week at a FUNERAL?! Oh my God, I can't believe you!' And before I knew it I was laughing at my erstwhile bodyguard and her poor victim.
     My uncle Gable is now remarried, to an awesome lady named Barbara. I swear Fifi just leaned over to God and said 'Yep, that's her' cause nobody could be a better wife for him and a better mama for Caleb than she is, and a better aunt, daughter, and sister to my family. Her and her daughter Lauren fit in like they were made for our family. Caleb is going to be 14 this summer, and is bigger than me, and he looks and acts just like Tiff sometimes. He's never forgot anything about her, and won't. Tiffany spent years making him scrapbooks and videos about them together, and even though he may call Barbara 'mama' sometimes now, she makes sure she reminds him every day about his real one.
     I can't wait until I get to heaven and see her jumping up and down to see me. I bet she's even done something funny with her angelic robe, just for me. Probably found a big ol golden bow for her head! Haha
     Here are some of my favorite pics through the years. Excuse the photo quality. Our scanner decided it didn't like me, so I just took pictures of pictures :)

This is where the golden bow comment comes from. Its my favorite picture of Fifi ever. I think this was her last Christmas with us, but she still felt good enough to act crazy, as you can see. I have this pic framed on my bookcase, 'cause it's as close to a true picture of Fifi's attitude and spirit as you can get.

This is me and Fifi in Disneyworld. Some amazing friends of my grandparents paid for Tiff, Caleb, and my family to go right after Tiff found out she had cancer. It was a great trip, all of our first times in Disney, and I think we'd have stayed forever if we could have. This pic was when Tiff and me went and got matching necklaces. I still have mine, in my box.

Tiffany in high school. She loved basketball. Funny enough, even though Gable pushes football and baseball, Caleb does too.

Prom, the year I was born

Mama and Tiffany

Tiffany and me when I was little.

Tiffany and me again, at my grandmama's family Christmas

This is my favorite picture of Tiffany and Caleb. This was taken at the resort we stayed at in Disney.

This was our last family picture, fall 2003 I think.