These are NOT the eHarmony or match.com singles. These people are good ol' redneck hicks, down on their luck in love and looking for that good woman or man. Now we all know the literary capabilities of said rednecks, but they get downright fancy for these ads.
Some of my all time favorites: From a 'full figured lady of color' comes "I ain't no Barbie and I ain't looking for no Ken.'' and "Incarcerated male seeks long term companion, out in 3-5.'' I can't make this stuff up! It seriously was submitted, printed, and more than likely responded to!
This week we have slim pickings, just one page of average ads. One did stand out to me for it's, uh, unusual age requirements. Typical ad, good woman, financially secure, honest, don't drink or smoke, sense of humor, likes dancing, yard sales, fishing and camping, looking for an honest, secure, lovable man...AGED 60-70!!! And you know she's low-balling it because she wants her a stud! haha
Another high point is the creeper ads. Oh I love those. This weeks winner is a middle aged guy, who describes his appearance and activities in minute detail, then lists out pretty much a to the dot description of his ideal woman. Petite, his race, 100 miles from his location. Enjoys hobbies, national parks, walks, ice cream, music, romantic dinners, conversations, cuddling, and holding hands. Here's where it gets creepy. If you're all these, write him, and he 'might send you a rose'. and then this:
Hope you've enjoyed this cultural broadening of your horizons! Stay tuned for the next episode of 'Meet-A-Mate' Marvels! And to all you hopeful out there, keep writing those ads!
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