Challenge day 17: What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
Hmmm...this one is a hard one! There are a lot of little things I wish I could do better, like sing or speak Spanish or sew. I think most of all though, I wish that instead of having my talents spread out more or less equally over a large range of things that I could swap some of that over to being really good at just one or two things. I think it'd make a lot of things easier for me, like picking a career haha. Don't get me wrong, I love being able to do all the things I can, but sometimes I wish I could just pick one! But I don't think I could ever give up my art and crafting for my piano, or reading for cooking and baking. I wouldn't want to trade being able to speak Spanish to make my bookkeeping and math abilities better. So I guess I'd have to answer that I don't really have one thing I'd wish to be great at. I'd rather just be good at all the things I already am.
Day 18: What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
The hardest I've ever had to work at forgiving someone was when my fiance and I broke up. When someone you don't know or who doesn't have a large impact on your life wrongs you, it isn't fun but it isn't life changing. When its someone you love...its much harder to first recognize it, and then to deal with it, and then let it go.
My fiance and I were not very far away from actually tying the knot. We had been together for years, and been through some very difficult things together. He had joined the Marines while we were together, and we managed to stay together through the long distance and the mental craziness that comes with that. He came home, and suddenly everything changed. My fiance wasn't the person I fell in love with, and he didn't care. It felt like everything he did was to test the limits of my commitment, see just how far I'd tolerate him going to break my trust. After months of that, I knew I couldn't handle it forever. I told him I couldn't agree to marry him until we got things straight. He told me that I was the one with problems, he had everything figured out, and when I got my life straight I could give him a call. I knew I had made the right choice. I gave him back my ring, drove away from his house, and never looked back.
Afterward I found out he had been cheating on me, and somehow everyone knew but me. He even had the nerve to tell me he would stop seeing her if I'd come back. I think that hurt more than anything else, knowing that even though he was my only, I was his second best.
It's been three years since we broke up. Nowadays, we're friendly to the point that we chat on Facebook. It took me a long time to get to that point. It took a long time to get to the point where I didn't think of him with anger at what he did, or sadness for the life I might have had if he hadn't done those things. Now I know that I am so much better off, and have had such a fuller life and will continue having that life. But it took a lot of prayer, a lot of late night talks, a lot of really having to make myself believe that I had come out on top. And to be honest, I still sometimes miss the companionship I had in him, the way we never ran out of things to talk about, the amazing dates we had without spending over $5, the happy, spontaneous, warm person I became when I had someone to be fun and loving with. But I hope, and believe, that one day I'll have another chance at love and it'll be a thousand times better, because this time it'll be forever.
Challenge day 19: If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
This is an easy one! I'm probably in the minority with my answer, but I would rather live here in North Mississippi where I already live than anywhere else I've ever been, and I've been quite a few places.
I'm a huge home-body. I don't want to be far from my family. If you need an airplane to come home to visit, that's entirely too far. Pretty much, if you have to drive over an hour. that's too far too.
My ideal home would be somewhere in Pontotoc, Oxford, or Tupelo, but out in the country where I can build my house on a lot with tons of trees and privacy, no neighbors right up in your backyard, no traffic noise, no busyness right next to you. Your house is where you go to be at home, to be yourself. It doesn't need to be somewhere you can't get comfortable.
Hopefully with my new job, all the saving up I'm doing will help my dream house become my real house very soon! There will be MANY blogs to follow if that happens, so just be ready!
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